I Hate Hospital Doctors

Well at least one in particular anyway. The last twice I have visited the rhematology clinic for my yearly checkup I have gotten the same doctor and he is never pleased with my progress.

Generally as long as my condition doesn't detrioate then all my other doctors, including my GP, are happy with me. I have been through no less than four rounds of physio of the last couple of decades. Three for spinal problems and once for my RHA. I have a perfectly good physio available at my doctor's offices but the hospital doctor refused to allow be to go to the physio that knows my spinal problems the best instead insisting on sending back to the hospital I went to four years back when the hospital originally diagnosed me. I don't know what he expects, I have a degenerative disease I'm not going to get any better regardless of the amount of time I am sent back to repeat physio. All I'll get is the the same exercises I have now, if they don't improve me further now I don't know what he expects by repeating the same painfully irritating procedure all over again.

Instead all he interested in is the fact I use a crutch to allow me to walk long distance, navigate uneven ground/stairs, help on bad days and help my balance which has been off since I was 13 and diagnosed with spinal problems and spend over 10 years wearing a back brace.

He's not happy because I use a crutch, that's all. Never mind that my condition hasn't deterioated any for the past couple of years. The medicine (which I'm on for life anyway, regardless of physio or any other treatments) and the exercise I take now has allowed my diseases to stay pretty even for over 24 months now, no deterioation at all, but he's still affronted that I still use a crutch for walking and balance. Given that I couldn't walk without physically being helped by one, sometimes two, people helping me during the first year or two of being diagnosed I think using one crutch and being indapendanty mobile is pretty good given my various medical problems.

I usually maneavour around my home and sometimes my brother's home without using it. I keep it with me incase of accidents, or coming across uneven surfaces of lots of stairs unexpectedly, or walking long distances or having to be on my feet for extended amounts of times. It allows me to rest and takes the weight off my knees/feet at these times.

Now apart from that and needing help with showering/bathing/hair washing I am pretty independant with everything else. Given the various medical problems I have I figure I am doing great. But apparantly not enough for this doctor.

I think he expects me be able to run marathons and do cart wheels or something. I've got some really bad news for him, without my crutch I wouldn't be able to do a lot of what I do, I also need the crutch for entering and leaving my shower or I risk falling a injuring myself badly. I have a handrail inside the shower but nothing on the outside and nothing to put any other handrails on if I loose my crutch.

So you imagine I am more than a little panicked about going back to the physio as it is obvious the only reason for it is that this doctor wants me to walk without the crutch for balance/support. Not going to happen, infact if the pain I'm in now is any indicator I am dreading being sent back again, my hips/back and left knee are now all stiff, swollen and painful and that's only from the manipulating the doctor put me through before deciding I need more physio again.

This is also the doctor after prodding me last year said he thought I had a slight back problem, this is after spending half an hour reading my file while I cooled my heels outside his door, and never once checked my x-rays and reams of paper about my history of back problems, over 20 years of history which he still is none the wiser about this visit even after I told him (again) that I had more than a slightly bad back, I had several defects on my spine including a curvature at the base of it. But still he still doesn't acknowledge what I'm saying even though the proof of my claims are right in front of him within the folder he is writing in.

Needless to say I don't have any confidence in this particular doctor and really wish I didn't get left with him again. I feel like beaming over the head with my crutch to see if it clears out his ears any, maybe then he'll have a good reason to be upset I'm using a crutch for once.